One is not enough to rock I’m sorry but it’s true You cannot rock if you’re just one I hate to break it to you So how are you supposed to rock How many do you need To dig a hole in fertile soil And plant a rockin’ seed? Should you be three like Rush Or four like the Pixies Or five like New Kids on the Block? Come listen, children close to me, you see… IT ONLY TAKES TWO TO ROCK Back when the world was new People crawled out of the sand They looked around and said We’ve got to start a rocking band So they gathered up guitars Keyboards and horns and basses What a waste! They never knew The power of two could melt their faces Whoa-whoa! I’ll get right to the point If you think that two can’t tear up the joint Then you’re in for a shock Because it only takes two to rock! And then one fateful night When the planets all aligned The Gods of Rock decreed That these two souls must be combined Then the Earth reversed its course As Matt and Jill they joined their forces The moon eclipsed, the seas caught fire (Trust us, dude, we checked our sources) Whoa-whoa! Now here’s some good advice If they say “I bet they’re soft and nice” Take that bet – it’s a lock Because it only takes two to rock! BRIDGE So take a number all you ladies Come take a ride in our Mercedes We’ll whip it good just like the 80s Come on cutie (come on cutie) Shake that booty (do your duty) Come on sweetie (come on sweetie) Sign my treaty! Break it down, Kevin Niemi-style… So you see, my friends, it only takes two to rock. But if you are only one, does that mean you should give it up and resign yourself to a life of never rocking, at most James Tayloring, or perhaps Tracy Chapmaning? (Yes. Yes it does.) But should the day come that one becomes two, and if the gods smile on the two of you just as they smiled on us that fateful night, then perhaps one day…one magical day…you will be blessed with the power to rock /nearly/ as hard as the hardest rocking acoustic dork-rock power duo in all the land… HOT BREAKFAST! 1 2 3 4! Whoa – Whoa! So now you know it’s true Whoa – whoa! We did the math for you Whoa – whoa! Whatever you’re into When they tell you only big bands will do Now you know that’s a crock Because it only takes two to rock! (Only takes two) Yes it only takes two to rock (Only takes two) Yes it only takes two Only two, me and you You and me, two not three And not four, and no more Only two, that’ll do Because it only takes two to rock!

I’ll never make the same mistake Thinking I know the way you feel I guess I’m naïve; maybe I assumed too much I never did believe you ever would refuse my touch But everything’s OK, it’s coming to an end I am defend0r, and I will never hurt like this again You can’t get to me, You can’t see through me You get to me anymore Looks like your Juliet's asleep OD’ed on hope and valentines I know that your eyes are going to turn my way Pretend to empathize until you burn your pain away But dreamers only dream Believers are let down I am defend0r Protector of this heart you pushed around You can’t get to me You can’t see through me You can’t get to me anymore Close my eyes, Keep my cool Don’t play nice You’re not salvation, I’m not your fool Something has got you so inspired Someone has put you on the prowl You tell me you’ve been hurt, that you’re the one who understands I will use your shirt to wipe your bloodstains from my hands Cause dreamers only dream, believers are let down I am defend0r Protector of this heart you tried to drown I will remember whenever your temptation has me weak I won’t surrender to all your charms, your sex and your mystique You can’t get to me You can’t see through No, you can’t get to me Not anymore Not anymore

There's a hole in your pants, a hole in your pants I want to be polite and look away but I can'tz Though you may have a soul filled with puppies and gold All I know is the hole in your pants There's a hole in your pants as spacious as France The placement so provocative it can't be by chance 'Cause the green dragonfly on the skin of your thigh Draws the eye to the hole in your pants And how dare you make me choose between proper piety and the need to be amused at your fabric absentee? And how dare you make me stare at the cloth that isn't there? You've a flair for trouser-wear that's tantalizingly... bare As you pose and you prance I'm caught in a trance Unnerved by my urge to steal one more glance My resolve's going numb I confess I succumb Overcome by the dumb little hole in your pants

You were a spider You were a vulture You were the snake that turned your victims into sculpture You were the toxin in the water Spreading sickness in the town You were the bloodshed on the crown You were a spider You were a spider You were a canyon You were an outlaw spraying bullets with abandon You were the legendary whisper Passed through every child’s ear But now you’re William You’re only William And William’s strong and William’s wise And William warms you with his eyes And when he dies they’ll say “now there’s a man Who turned his life around” And William hides his battle scars Behind long sleeves and folk guitars But I could swear I saw nostalgia In the smile on his face When he said “Children, better learn from my mistakes” You were a spider You were the thunder You were the quicksand dragging all the horses under You were the fear in father’s eyes The dream that trembled mother’s hand The specter haunting o’er the land You were a spider And William’s good and William’s well And William has a tale to tell He’s been through hell and he can keep the flames From burning us away And all his demons are released Cause William’s finally found his peace And so we breathe collective sigh The battle’s ceased, the war is done And William smiles and says that everybody won And William sighs and says that everybody won And now you’re William You’re only William But you were a spider